animals.ideas.sucks
Animals
Bad ideas involving pets, wildlife, and decisions that need supervision.
Most viewed bad ideas
When I see cows, do they realize I eat their meat?
No, cows don’t get your carnivore memo. They just see you as another clueless human staring back.
Do tiny crabs bite?
Yes, tiny crabs bite—just enough to remind you they're not cuddly pets.
Can I steal one of my cat's seven lives?
Nope, cat lives aren’t a Netflix series you can binge and borrow.
If you throw your cat out the window, will it die?
Yes, throwing your cat out the window can kill it. Don't be that jerk.
Can I have a pet butterfly to find out if they sleep?
You can try, but a pet butterfly won't answer if they sleep — and it probably won't survive your place long.
Can I have a horse at home?
Yes, if your home isn’t an apartment and you enjoy becoming a poop scooper full-time.
Can a dog interrupt a World Cup match?
Yes, but only if security naps and someone forgot to leash the canine chaos agent.
Can I smell a fish fart underwater?
Nope, your nose isn’t built for underwater stink detection—fish farts stay underwater, luckily for your olfactory nerves.
Can I make my cat vegetarian?
No, cats are obligate carnivores, not vegan hipsters.
How to tell if my cat likes me?
If your cat ignores you, you're probably just a warm chair to nap on. Purring, headbutts, and slow blinks mean you might be their favorite human. Or their snack dealer.
Can I microwave a cat?
No. Absolutely not. That is not a cooking question, that is animal cruelty wearing a tiny chef hat.
Do fish sleep?
Yes, fish do sleep, but don’t expect them to hit snooze on a pillow anytime soon.