animals.ideas.sucks
Animals
Bad ideas involving pets, wildlife, and decisions that need supervision.
Merchandising
Most viewed bad ideas
When I see cows, do they realize I eat their meat?
No, cows don’t get your carnivore memo. They just see you as another clueless human staring back.
Can I have a horse at home?
Yes, if your home isn’t an apartment and you enjoy becoming a poop scooper full-time.
Do fish sleep?
Yes, fish do sleep, but don't expect them to hit the sack like humans do—no fluffy pillows underwater!
Can I steal one of my cat's seven lives?
Nope, cat lives aren’t a Netflix series you can binge and borrow.
If I pee in the sea, do the fish notice?
Yes, fish notice, but they probably won’t care unless you’re a walking aquarium of pee.
Can a dog interrupt a World Cup match?
Yes, but only if security naps and someone forgot to leash the canine chaos agent.
If I say meow to a cat, does it understand?
Cats don’t understand your ‘meow’ as words, but they might think you’re a weird, talking cat.
If you throw your cat out the window, will it die?
Yes, throwing your cat out the window can kill it. Don't be that jerk.
Do tiny crabs bite?
Yes, tiny crabs bite—just enough to remind you they're not cuddly pets.
Can I make my cat vegetarian?
No, cats are obligate carnivores, not vegan hipsters.
Can I smell a fish fart underwater?
Nope, your nose isn’t built for underwater stink detection—fish farts stay underwater, luckily for your olfactory nerves.
Can I have a pet butterfly to find out if they sleep?
You can try, but a pet butterfly won't answer if they sleep — and it probably won't survive your place long.