animals.ideas.sucks
Animals
Bad ideas involving pets, wildlife, and decisions that need supervision.
Freshly judged nonsense
Do tiny crabs bite?
Yes, tiny crabs bite—just enough to remind you they're not cuddly pets.
Can a dog interrupt a World Cup match?
Yes, but only if security naps and someone forgot to leash the canine chaos agent.
Can I make my cat vegetarian?
No, cats are obligate carnivores, not vegan hipsters.
How to tell if my cat likes me?
If your cat ignores you, you're probably just a warm chair to nap on. Purring, headbutts, and slow blinks mean you might be their favorite human. Or their snack dealer.
If I pee in the sea, do the fish notice?
Yes, fish notice, but they probably won’t care unless you’re a walking aquarium of pee.
If I neuter my cat, is he less macho?
Neutering your cat won’t make him less macho — unless macho means spraying furniture and chasing girls all day.
Can I have a pet butterfly to find out if they sleep?
You can try, but a pet butterfly won't answer if they sleep — and it probably won't survive your place long.
Can I smell a fish fart underwater?
Nope, your nose isn’t built for underwater stink detection—fish farts stay underwater, luckily for your olfactory nerves.
Can fish drown?
Fish can’t drown like land animals, but they can suffocate if their gills don’t get enough oxygen.
Why does my cat look at me like it knows a secret?
Your cat isn't plotting world domination — it just looks like it knows secrets because cats have a face that screams 'I've seen things.'
Can I microwave a cat?
No. Absolutely not. That is not a cooking question, that is animal cruelty wearing a tiny chef hat.